This is an article I wrote for our youth fellowship, but this is the first time for it to be published. As a young girl, I might not have enough insight to write this message powerfully enough as yet. So I hope that my dear readers, no matter who you are, would be kind enough to leave a comment or send me an e-mail if you find any mistakes, see any inaccuracies, or hope to make any suggestions. May we all continue to strive together for excellence--for His ultimate glory.
Many people think that lust is a sin primarily limited to the male mind. Growing teenage boys struggle with changing hormones. Already grown men need to keep their eyes only upon their wives. Girls are warned from dressing scantily so as to prevent creating temptation for fellow Christian brothers. It’s all a guy thing.
Isn’t it?
In actuality, female adolescents undergo the same hormonal increase as their male counterparts. Young women are attracted to the opposite sex as much as men are. But then why isn’t there a modesty requirement for men’s clothing?
Well, because boys don’t like skin-tight clothes and mini-shorts as much as girls do in the first place. Secondly, because girls do not lust in the same way as their guy friends do. For girls, it’s not about physical lust—but emotional.
The Stupidity of the Matter
When a pretty girl complete with make-up and fashion apparel appears in a room with guys in it, heads are turned, eyes are brightened, and wordless whispers mouthed. Ooh, knockout. She has their attention.
When a very handsome fellow enters a room with his gelled hair and suave walk, however, only half of the girls drool over him. The other half smirk. Later, when the guy pulls over to one of the smirking ladies and whispers, “Hi, I noticed a while ago that you were unhappy. Anything I could do to help you? You are after all such a pretty girl,” and smiles tenderly, she wouldn’t change seats with anyone in the world.
Now, don’t tell me you’ve never seen such things happen. I know they happen everyday. So, are girls stupid? Honestly….yes and no.
No first. Most Christian young ladies have enough sense to know that sweet-talking guys aren’t worth their while. These boys, either consciously or subconsiously, try to charm their way through things to avoid the hard way or longcut (Guys, admit it). They flatter the teacher to prevent punishment for a late assignment. They schmooze their parents to allow them an advance in their allowance. And, of course, they charm their female companions to get their approval. Girls know that. They don’t want that kind of guy for a husband. That’s gross. These guys make nice flatterers, but when they're your leaders or partners, you’ll have to do all the work, and no lady in her right mind wants that to happen.
That’s the no part, now the yes. Girls are stupid because as clearly as they may know that sweet-tongued guys are cheap, girls still like them (Girls, don’t give me an outright denial here). When compliments, no matter how general, are showered on a girl, her heart goes to the speaker. Why? Because of the whole point of this article—emotional lust. A miniskirt on a girl suggests to guys that they may have her body. Likewise, sweet compliments made to a girl makes her hope that she may have the guy’s heart.
God made woman to be a helper and companion for man. On the other side of the equation, God made man to be a leader and protector of woman. Girls have the instinctive desire to be protected and loved. They long to be able to fill the hearts of men and vice versa. They enjoy being soothed, comforted, and complimented. They want the esteem and feelings of guys.
The Reason of the Matter
Now, since girls want to be flattered and guys love to flatter. Why not let things take their natural course?
Well, why not just let all womenfolk go naked since guys like to look and girls like to be looked at?
While physical lust is a violator of the purity of the body and mind, emotional lust ruins the purity of the heart. When guys sweet-talk their female friends, they are actually robbing the future husbands of these girls of the emotions and feelings the girls ought to be giving them. The virginity of the heart is not less important than virginity of the body. Let not anyone tamper with the innocence of young Christian hearts.
The Conclusion of the Matter
To the girls: Watch out for your heart. Do not easily dismiss lust as a guy thing with which you have nothing to do. Perhaps your eyes may not be lusting over a person’s body, but maybe your mind has been constantly re-playing and indulging the unwarranted compliments you’ve heard from guys that are not to be your future husbands. Keep not merely your body and mind, but your heart pure as well. Do not entertain boys who play with flowery statements. Do not encourage them, for your good as well as theirs.
To the guys: Guard the hearts of your sisters in Christ. Do not think that compliments will get you anywhere. They do more harm than good. Encourage your female friends, but do not allow your words to be “immodestly dressed,” lest they arouse wrongful lusts in the hearts of young women. Even as you learn to keep your mind pure, help keep your sisters’ hearts pure. Believe me, they’ll grow to thank you for it.
