Husband Checklist: Questions to Be Answered

It’s the month of love, a good time to post this entry. This is a list of important questions I’ve gathered over many years. Since so many people ask me to answer the question "What do you look for in a guy?" I realize I might as well ask them to read here. Besides, these questions are for every Christian girl, not just me.

I’ve also decided to publish it for two reasons: Firstly, that my female readers might be reminded to seek the qualities that really “matter at fifty” and secondly, that the guys might be reminded once more to prepare for husbandhood in God’s definition. Be thankful you have a lady friend’s perspective to help you out, hehe…Advanced Happy Valentines’ Day to all.

1. Do I trust his judgment enough to submit to him?
2. Will he be a good father?
3. Can I help him at what he does?
4. Does he exhibit self-discipline?
5. Is his heart undivided and true?
6. Is he a good leader? With humility & vision?
7. Does he respect women physically, verbally, & otherwise?
8. Will he be a protector & provider?
9. Am I willing to find my identity with him?
10. Does he face problems with calmness & wisdom?
11. Is he attracted by beauty or by character?
12. Will he guide me to grow in Christ?
13. Does he love my family?
14. Does he love God more than he loves me?

Family

Although these reflections came from my own pen, they are responsible for having cheered, encouraged, or slightly rebuked me at the times I felt frustration with the people in my life. No family is perfect, yet God made each one. Then surely, it's all for sharpening His children to greater glory.

Family...
Are the people who don’t notice your bad hair day,
because they’ve seen it too many times...
Are the people who can be oblivious to a new outfit,
or forget the one you had for 7 years...

Are the people who can snap at you for no reason at all...
Or shower you with gifts for equally no reason...

Family...
Are the people who know
what you’re going to say before you say it...
Are the people who waste your time by
saying what you knew they were going to say in the first place...

Are the people who would never wonder,
“What if he meant this?”...
Are the people with whom you don’t have to worry
“What if it sounded like that?”...

Are the people who might not always sympathize...
but always care...
Are the people who can always complain about you...
but still be proud of you...

Family...
Are the people who don’t ask if you’re okay...
because they know it when you really aren't...

Are the people who force you to give up comfort…
Are the people who give up their comfort for you…

Are the people whom you forgive again and again...
And who forgive you more times than that...

Family...
Are the most imperfect people you’ll ever know...
And the people who love you most in spite of your imperfections...

Family...
Are people who come in all shapes and sizes...
Are people who come as parents, siblings, friends, relatives...
Are people who come into your life seemingly out of nowhere...

Family...
Are the people God tailor-made and sent to you...
To make you all that you are...for Him…

All Done for You

It's another new year, and I can hardly keep up with everything I want to do in every area. I admit the tendency to pursue only what I want to do, instead of what I should. Yet all our pleasures on this earth are temporal, and I can only pray for God to help me keep an eternal perspective, no matter what sacrifice it requires.

My heart is beating, beating, Lord,
Each moment of each day;
The time is fleeting, fleeting, Lord,
As hours refuse to stay.
O may Your voice repeating, Lord,
Remind my heart today
That when in heaven meeting, Lord,
In Your eternal day,
All done for me proves fleeting, Lord,
All done for You will stay.

Mary's Lullaby

It is Christmas Eve, a time for remembering the birth of Christ. I wonder how Mary felt when she held her first child in her arms and sang Him to sleep under the stars. He was her child, yet He was not hers. He was in her care...yet He Himself would come to save the souls of millions, including hers. But upon that first Christmas, He must have been a small, sweet baby in her bosom, resting in His mother's temporary embrace.

Lullaby, lullaby, my baby Boy,
Rest in my bosom today.
Lullaby, lullaby, my baby Boy,
Tenderly sleep while You may.

Lullaby, lullaby, my baby Boy,
Soon You’ll bring mankind to light.
Lullaby, lullaby, my baby Boy,
Stay with Your mother tonight.

I know that one day You’ll grow tall and fine,
I know that You never truly were mine,
Yet while the angels watch over today,
Rest in my bosom, I pray.

Lullaby, lullaby, my baby Boy,
Born to be Savior of all,
Thank You for lullabies, sweetness, and joy,
Mine in this Bethlehem stall.

A Time to Share

The finale song number of "Care for Christmas?"...this song echoes in my mind. Perhaps beyond the rythmic meter and the repeating words, there is a deeper call. During this holiday season, may God truly help each one of us bear each other's burdens and let our deeds reflect the compassion of our Lord.

A time to share, a time to care,
A time each other’s burdens bear;
A time to feed with word and deed
Each hungry soul we see in need.

A time to hold and to behold
The helpless child in bitter cold;
A time to place a tearful face
Within the Savior’s warm embrace.

A time to heal, a time to feel
The love of God so pure and real;
A time to tell the sweet noel
About the Christ we know so well.

Beloved, let us love not merely with our words,
But may our deeds reflect the compassion of our Lord.

A time to share, a time to care,
A time each other’s burdens bear.
A time to love and tell them of
The ageless home we have above.

It's a Cold, Cold World

Even though this dramatic song from the climax hospital scene of "Care for Christmas?" has long been a 'scheduled-release' on this blog, the words of the song seem to rebuke me from the screen today. The world is cold and it pulls us with it. Oh may God help every one of us keep that warmth and glow within our hearts. May He help me set aside the envy, discontentment, vanity, and selfishness the world encourages...and let His love radiate from within me.

It’s a cold, cold world
Full of cold, cold things.
Don’t let it touch your heart
With the cold it brings.

It’s a cold, cold world
With a cheerless smile.
But if your heart is warm,
It may glow awhile.

So let the glow, so let the warmth,
Remain forever in your heart.
Despite the wind, despite the cold
That try to tear your soul apart.
The bitter world may bring you low,
Leave you in the dark,
But there’s a hope, and there’s a glow,
That you can keep within your heart.

So let the glow, so let the warmth,
Remain forever in our hearts,
Despite the wind, despite the cold
That try to tear our souls apart.
The bitter world may bring us low,
And leave us in the dark,
But there's a hope, and there's a glow,
That we can keep within our hearts.

I Don't Care

Probably the meanest song I've ever written, this is the third excerpt from "Care for Christmas?" and the song for the memorable Pilgrim sisters' quarrel scene. I could almost hear our director's voice pronouncing "A' don't kur" as she re-directs the scene again and again. While I like this work for its near-perfect craftsmanship and uniqueness, its words are the last words I hope I would think and utter during this Christmas season.

I don’t care what you think, what you like, what you say,
I don’t care what you can, what you may,
I don’t care where you are, where you go, where you stay,
I don’t care all about it anyway.

I don’t know why you shout, why you scream, why you cry,
I don’t know why you weep, why you sigh,
I don’t know what you want and why I should comply,
I don’t know why I even have to try.

Why do you have to act like this?
Why should this happen everyday?
Why can’t you stop being you for once
And just do things my way?

I don’t like how you move, how you sit, how you stand,
I don’t like everything you demand,
I don’t like how you make every wish a command,
I don’t think I will ever understand.

I don’t think you are good, you are smart, you are bright,
I don’t think you are nice, you are right,
I don’t think you are worth any more than a mite,
I don’t know why you’re putting up a fight!